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Not only for women, not only about women Part 1

Is God a man?


As far as I remember, I was constantly wondering who I am and why. When I came to believe, some of the questions were answered, but a lot of new ones came up.

I find out and I received that wonderful fact that, thanks to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, I now have the Father in Heaven, the great magnificent Father. As long as I considered God an angry judge, I just tried to follow the rules He gave and sometimes I would allow myself to be angry with Him. Now, when the relationship has changed, it has become especially important who I am in God's eyes and how I should behave that He would be happy looking at me. How should I behave that my new brothers and sisters would not be offended? How can I benefit the community? And the main question for me was: how do I reconcile my talking to people with what is said about women in the Word of God - that they should remain silent?

From the earliest adolescence I felt pain because I was a woman. Dear women, do you remember your first menstruation? I remember. I knew it would be, theoretically. I knew anatomy and physiology. But when I experienced this pain and discomfort for the first time, the question: "Why must this happen to us?" came and remained. With time, of course, you get used to all the inconveniences and come to terms. This is your life, these are the conditions, and nobody asks you, whether you like it or not.

Time flies, you grow up and become a young lady, you dream about your prince, you want to be beautiful that he would notice you. It is so deep in you, you can hardly realize it, but you cannot avoid it – it is in you, you really want to be loved and to be the only one for him.

I was fifteen when I narrow escaped being raped. The situation happened through my folly. I simply did not care about anything, when I agreed to be accompanied by three unknown for me boys - I thought that they just liked me and they wanted to get better acquainted with me, and besides, it was a day time, and I did not even think that it was a bad idea to go down the woods to the nearest bus station. I understand how ridiculously it may sound, but I was naïve, not experienced stupid girl, longing for love. The Lord was merciful for me and gave me an opportunity to escape. It would seem the situation ended happily: only half an hour of horror in the grove, even without serious injuries. But though my body remained healthy, my soul did not. After that, I felt guilty and felt ashamed that I was so stupid. And the remembrance left about the disdain they showed to me. They conveyed an important message to me that I am not a desirable princess at all, but just a doll of achieving man's pleasure. That I am lower and worse and they can just use me. For long time after this event I had a great deal of fear and going out of home I would never have felt safe. Always seeing nearby an unknown for me man, and especially if there were two or three of them, I felt my face contorted from fear and I had to strike my palms with my nails that pain could distract my attention and I could hid my emotions. I wanted to meet my beloved man, but I walked with my nails in my palms. That was my youth.

However, in spite of my fear I wanted to get married and even did not lie to myself that I did not want. Then I met my prince Nerijus and he had lots of work with me helping me with various problems, but he was really in love with me so he had enough patience. I loved and I was loved and I married for love and I never regret this, but I would be a liar if I said that my family life was easy and very fine. In fact, I understood that it would not be easy even before marriage, but you know, when you are in love, nothing is important. And then a week after my marriage one classmate asked me: “Are you happy that you are married?” I thought for rather long time and then said: “Yes, I am”. It was not very much joy in this answer, though. I remember when I was riding in a city bus, I was a young mom then, still studying, and working full time job and living in a big lack of money and with alcoholic husband and I was thinking about women life. I was thinking about myself and about all those women that were riding in the same bus, with sad and tired expressions of their faces and about all the women as a whole and about our hard fate. It was so sad and hard in my heart when I understood how deeply we are unhappy in this world and that our fate – sufferings and pain, bodily pain and soul pain.



I did not see any meaning in this suffering and pain. I did not understand, if it is God’s will or we, people, do not know how to live. If it is God’s will, then why? At this hard for me time I offended God many times, shouting in my heart: “Why have You created us at all, if we are so miserable?” Trying to find the answer I have read many wise and even more stupid books but I did not find an answer. I even looked for the answers in the Bible. I have read apostles of Paul, I found the places about head covering and being silent. Of, course, I disliked such places and said for myself that Paul was not married man and he did not know anything about women. And then I put the Bible aside.

Now being a Christian I understand that I was not right putting Bible aside, because where else can you find the answer, if not in God’s Word?

So let's try to look at the Bible for places that are especially important for women. I believe that we will find some answers here, but also new questions will arise. The deeper I go into the Word, the more I notice my lack of cognition, but I am encouraged by the lines:

1Corinthians 8, 2-3:

And if any man think that he knoweth anything, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know. But if any man love God, the same is known of him.

Let us look from the beginning.

Pr 1, 26-28:
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

So in the spirit there were two - man and woman, a male creation and a female creation. Therefore, here is only my opinion, I think that after death, when we go to the Lord, we will not stop being women, and men will remain being men. Jesus says that:

Mt 22, 30:
For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.
He says that reproductive organs will no longer be needed, but this does not mean that I will cease to perceive myself as a woman. On the contrary, I hope that I will realize myself fully, because there will be full knowledge and there will be no unanswered questions.

So in the spirit everything is beautiful - a man and a woman, both in the image of God, who are equally entitled to dominate the earth. But let's look at the second chapter. We see that the Lord God first creates one person, not two; He creates Adam.

Genesis 2, 18-24:

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet [ezer] for him.

And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet [ezer] for him.

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
We see how happy is a man seeing a woman. He needed exactly her.



She is beautiful for him, she is attractive for him and he wants to cleave and to be one with her. That is why we are getting married; this is according god’s will. Therefore “marriage” between two men or two women is not possible – it is against Gods will and it is an abomination in God’s eyes.

Leviticus 18, 22:

Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

Let's now look at the word "help meet". From the first chapter of the Book of Genesis, it appears that in the spirit men and women are equal. Here we already see subordination - a woman in the body created as a help meet. The word "help meet" does not show equality. However, this is not the role of a maid, or as a "companion" as in some translations. Even a dog or a tiger might have been a companion, but Adam did not like them. The word "ezer" in Hebrew is a strong word. It can be translated as a vital help you can not survive without. This word is used in the Psalms:

Psalms 20, 1-2:

The LORD hear thee in the day of trouble; the name of the God of Jacob defend thee;

Send thee help [ezer] from the sanctuary, and strengthen thee out of Zion;
Thus, God gave a much-needed helper for a man, a help meet, without whom it would be very difficult, but this of course does not deny subordination:

1Corinthians 11, 7-16:
For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.

For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.

Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.

Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.

For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.

Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?

Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?

But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.

But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God.

We see that the head covering was a custom. We have no more such custom, but the woman's hair was given her as a cover. And I believe in the Word of God, that it is good in the sight of God if the woman keeps that cover. I am not going to tell you how long women’s hair should be. I know that God Himself puts it in the heart of a woman.

And we read here that the woman was created for a man and that is a fact. Apostle Paul emphasizes the subordination of the woman, but he also points out that in the Lord there is neither a man without a woman, nor a woman without a man. As the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman, but all things from God. And if we look at this line in King James Bible, where its footnote leads, we find the link to:

Galatians 3, 28:
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
The Word of God says that everything is one, although it also determines the hierarchy. The Apostle Paul says:

1Corinthians 11, 3:

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Therefore the Christian woman cannot think that if she believes Jesus Christ, she does not need her husband any more for she serves to and listens only to Jesus. If she communicates with Christ, if she listens to what the Holy Spirit speaks to her, she can not reject this word and the fact that the man is her head.

What to do in that case, when a woman is a Christian, but her husband does not believe in Christ? She can not make him believe, she just has to pray that God will give her love and patience.

1Peter 3, 1-2:

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
If your husband do not listen to the Word of God, your cannot make him, but we preach the gospel through our lives, that's what we have to do. Simply live as the Holy Spirit teaches through the Apostle Paul:

Collosians 3, 18-19:
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
This is our path; this is the way to seek holiness.

But what if my husband does not love me the way it is written? Just patiently carry out what is written for you. You can not answer for another; you can not make him love you.

Whatever your husband is, you can not change it. Just look at yourself, how do you behave. Do you behave as God wants from you? Do you respect your husband, do you listen to him? I am not talking about blind obedience; I am not talking about slave fear, because the Scriptures do not say that. Just do whatever depends on you according to the Word of God. I am talking about elemental wives' respect for their husbands, which is so lacking now. God called us for that, but it is not easy, because we are inclined to lead very much. We often think we now better.




I do not know why, but God wanted to make us help meets for our husbands, but not heads. It's hard work. And if your husband does not believe, or even more if he calls himself a Christian, but he does treat you worse than unbeliever, then you have received a very difficult task from God. But you are never alone, ask Him to help you. He is Almighty. Do not ask Him to change your husband, ask Him to help you to do everything right. For we have our Bridegroom and our Father in Heaven. He sees everything, knows everything and everything will be assessed. And if your spouse does not appreciate your efforts, and he is never interested in what is in your heart, just trust in the Lord, ask Him what to do and He will answer you. He will give you patience, love and meekness. When you got married, you said that you will be his help meet; would you quit your job given from God, because he turned out to be harder than you imagined? It is not easy to live in a marriage and will not be, do not have such illusions. Marriage cannot be without suffering and without sacrifice. Most of us believed when we were married, so we just have no possibility to choose. Just rely on Jesus Christ, your Saviour, always have fellowship with Him in your hearts and He will pilot you.

I would still like to come back a bit to:

1Corinthians 11, 3:
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Some could conclude from these lines that the woman not needs Christ, and that a man can fully satisfy her needs. My dear, there is not such a man who could fully satisfy all the needs of a woman. Really, when I was not a Christian, I was expecting everything from my husband; that he would make me happy somehow. But he was not God; it was not in his strength. Your husband can always listen to you, great if he does so, he can hug you ten times a day, and that is very good, he can give you roses every day and that is wonderful, but still you will feel hunger in your heart. For we are not from this world, and we prolong our Creator, and no matter the man you or the woman, no one can quench your hunger and suppress that longing, only one God.

Psalms 42, 2:

My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?


The soul of both man and woman desires the same living God. I think it is very good for a couple to pray together. In fact, because we are one body, when all the body is directed to the prayer, it is good in the eyes of God. Well, we know that it is said:

Matthew 18, 20:

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

The married couples have been advised not to be far from each other for the long time:

1Corinthians 7, 5:

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

We know that the apostles who were married did so. For we read in the letter to the Corinthians that they travelled everywhere with their wives.

1 Corinthians 9, 5:

Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?

Unfortunately, there are few men, I do not even talk about the world, I speak among Christians, who are really determined to love their wives and see them as part of their body. There are many much more concerned about how to make their woman help meet to be obedient. It does not matter how she feels and what it sometimes means for her to obey. It's just important for such men that their woman would be in her due place, well dressed, well-mannered and humble enough. And it may be that they get what they want, their woman behaves "rightly" and grieves in her heart because she does not feel loved, for the great joy of Satan. I am sure that this should not be among the Christians.

If we look through the Gospels what Jesus Christ taught about men and women, we find that He has not spoken much about it. But what He said is fundamentally important and puts everything in place, because in the Old Testament we see that men had more than one wife, but Jesus says that God does not like this.

Jesus says: This was not the case at first.

Matthew 19, 3-12:
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.

But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.

For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

Jesus blames men for the hardness of their heart. He says that marriage is not just to purchase a maid, who can be replaced with someone else, when gets too old or does not suit somehow. It is such a responsible thing that the apostles are afraid "it's better not to marry", but we know that everyone has his proper gift of God, and if you really love a person, it is better to get married than to burn. Jesus did not say that it would be very easy to follow Him.

And again I will go back to the same line:

1Corinthians 11, 3:
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

If the head of each man is Christ, then let us have a look at Jesus Christ, not only what He said, but also how He did behaved with women. Did He consider them the lower beings, the by-product of a man? You are all aware of the Gospels, you know that He does not. He understood the woman, He knew what was in her heart, and He did not condemn her, and did not scold her, nor in one place, if you noticed, He did not scold the woman. He spoke, just simply spoke, spoke like with human being, which was a novelty for men of that time. He did not think that women would fail to receive the Word of God; He did not disdain even prostitutes. The women did for Jesus “not proper” things in society of that time, they cried to his feet, poured oil on his head, and he told those who tried to stop such “not properly behaving” women "do not hurt them". For the things these women did God himself had placed in their hearts. Jesus always looked at the heart. He appeared to women after the resurrection, and said: “Be not afraid: go tell my brethren that they go into Galilee, and there shall they see me.” He gave them such an important message. I do not know why, you can ask yourself why; maybe the Lord will show you something differently. I think the answer is love. Women loved him. They loved, not thinking about force, great knowledge, fulfilment of promises, but just loved. And God loves this in women. Women are also in the image of God. God is not a man. Jesus knew that God was not a man; when he said comparisons about the lost drachma and the mixing of dough, he identified himself with a woman. It is such nonsense - to say that God is a man. Once I cried such nonsense to God as a reproach, when I felt very badly and my head hurt very much because of my female hormone swings. I shouted: "God, you are a man." And I apologized immediately. God is everything, all femininity and masculinity and a lot more, because He has all the fullness:

Genesis 1, 27:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
We are tried being deceived since our creation in the body. Satan has told so many lies about a that practically nobody can sort out what is right in the world. The situation with Christians is not much better ...


To be continued in the next part.